Mary, Did You Know?

Dear Sprout,
We're coming up on your second Christmas, and I'm thinking about the way that your birth has changed the way I view the entire Christmas story. As a teenage girl, I identified with Mary as a scared girl facing the unknown, but as your mother, I identify with her in a totally different way. Last year, I remember nursing you on Christmas Eve after reading the Christmas story to you and your cousins, and thinking about Mary, holding her newborn in that bare stable and doing the same; thinking about his future.

This year, I've had almost 18 months to watch you grow toward the man you will be someday. While I may not have been given an announcement from an angel that you are born to great things, I pray and believe that you have been. While I pray that I never have to face the loss that loomed in Mary's future, I do hope that you will make a huge impact for God. I pray that your father and I will give you and Teeny good examples to emulate, and that you will greatly surpass both of us. My greatest wish for you is that you grow "in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."

Love Always,

Mommy

Why I Hope You'll Believe In Santa Claus

Dear Teeny and Sprout,
With Christmas fast approaching, I find myself thinking about the traditions I want to pass on to the two of you; the ones I treasure most from my own childhood, and the ones I want to create in our home. My greatest wish is for both of you to understand that the reason for this holiday is not the pile of presents you will undoubtedly find under our brightly glowing Christmas tree. I hope that you  will always understand that the reason we celebrate is because of the greatest Gift that God ever gave mankind, His only son.
Your grandparents, my mom and dad, did a good job of teaching this to me in so many ways. One of my earliest Christmas memories is shivering in your Pap's bathrobe layered over my winter coat, playing a little shepherd in our church's outdoor nativity while they sang songs of praise to a newborn king. I remember my quiet awe as my grandma would let me lovingly wrap the baby Jesus for her nativity scene and lay him in the manger on Christmas Eve. When other children left out cookies and milk for Santa, we made rice krispie treats, put a candle in them, and sang happy birthday to Jesus.
To be honest, I don't remember ever really believing in Santa. My parents never told me he didn't exist, nor was he ever used as a threat for good behavior in the month of December. I had a vague belief that grandma's cousin Tom was the real Santa Claus, as he was the man in a bright red suit with a snowy white beard that I saw every Christmas Eve before we opened presents. I've developed more of a belief in Santa Claus as an adult than I ever had as a child, and its because of what I've come to realize about him that I hope I can foster a sense of belief in the two of you.
You see, as an adult, I've come to realize that Santa Claus is not some magical elf who lives at the North Pole, watches your every move, and rewards good behavior one night of the year. Santa Claus is the potential in all of us to do good for others, not just at Christmas, but all year round. He is the representation of the real magic of human kindness, of our ability to make the world a better place, one small act at a time. Santa Claus is the bell ringer who loans a panicked girl his cell phone. He is the little boy packing a shoebox for less fortunate children. He is the mother who mothers her children's friends who need her. He is the father who leaves an $80 tip for his single-mother waitress. He is a seasonal representation of the extravagant love of God, and how He can use every one of us to make life a little brighter.
That, my little ones, is why I hope you'll always believe in Santa Claus, because he is the best in all of us.

Love Always,

Mommy 

Our first view of Teeny

Dear Teeny,
I'm afraid I haven't been nearly as diligent in writing to you as I was for your big brother. Being a mother for the second time is very different from the first time. The first time, I had only your brother growing inside me to focus on, but this time around, I'm so busy keeping him fed and loved and cared for, half the time I forget you even exist yet, until you make me want to puke, or so tired I can barely stand up, or completely unable to button my pants.
Today made you really real to me, and, I think, to your daddy too. There is something very special about seeing you for the first time, watching your little arms and legs wiggle and the flicker of your heartbeat (151 bpm, for the record). The thing that made it most beautiful, though, was your brother's reaction to you. He's still too little to really understand what's going on, but when he saw you on the ultrasound monitor, he pointed and said "Baby sissy?" Not that I'm assuming that you're a girl (at this point, you're basically a blueberry with arms, legs, and potential), but it's the thought that counts. We all love you, Teeny. You are barely a flicker on a monitor, but you are so loved by so many people, and will always be.

Dear Sprout,
It's been nearly 6 months since I wrote to you last. Shame on mommy, right? I didn't write when you finally learned to walk. I didn't write when you started stringing together short sentences (pretty, pretty mumma is my favorite). I didn't even write to you when we found out that you were going to be a big brother. But today I'm writing, because what you did today touched my heart. We went to see your baby brother or sister for the first time today, and almost as if you know your time as mommy's only baby is dwindling, you refused to let me put you down, even during my ultrasound. Because of this, you were right even with my head when we all saw Teeny for the first time. I'm not sure what kind of response I was expecting from you, but I definitely wasn't expecting you to point at the screen and say "Baby sissy?", or, when I smiled and said, "Yeah, that's your baby sissy or bubby", for you to smile and giggle, and then lean down to give me a big happy kiss.
You'll never remember a time before Teeny was a part of our lives, but I want you to know, I'm cherishing every minute we have left of "just us". You'll always be my first baby, and I hope you know I think you're going to be a great big brother.

Love always,

Mommy